Presence
She sits with a resounding thump on the tree stump that is
too familiar in her life. In tears, in confusion, in pain, the common theme of
her trips to this place. She always is here alone, always in fear, surrendered
to the feeling of wanting to no longer feel anything anymore. Numbness is the
welcomed state of bliss in her world; heaven on earth.
The clouds and coming rain are perfect for her on this day.
Rain washes away the old, dirty emotions and leaves everything clean. The rain
will wash the tears from her cheeks, wash away the pain, and wash away the
emotions, leaving only the numbness that she so desperately seeks. The dirt at
her feet, darkened by the mist that has started to fall, will absorb it all.
A clap of thunder sounds in the distance. A brisk wind slaps
a stray brown leaf into her forehead, suddenly draining her of all emotion and
making her startlingly alert of her surroundings. As she jumps to her feet, the
electricity of an unseen lightning strike raises the hair on her neck and arms.
“What is going on”, she wonders. “This is a thunderstorm but yet…”
A resounding crash interrupts her thoughts. She swivels
around to see a large branch now covering the stump she was occupying just
moments ago. Smoke rises from the now broken junction of the branch and the
tree from which it fell. She moves her arm under the branch and tries to move
it…ZAP! She jumps back…the energy from the lightning remains in the branch.
Through the leaves and twigs, she sees the remains of her precious stump. The
shards and pieces of what used to be her stump extend in all directions,
crushed by the impact and weight of the branch. She tries again to move the
branch….ZAP! Still charged, still unyielding is the branch.
She stands staring at the scene in front of her, silently,
surprised, grateful. “The leaf saved me”, she thinks to herself. She does not
notice anything around her, nor does she realize the time passing by her. What
made her sad, caused her pain…made her come to this place…no longer exists. The
rain has long since stopped, the clouds have moved on, and the sun is warming
and drying the earth around her. She stands there still, not moving, not
thinking, not blinking.
The warmth of the sun on shoulder made her glance to her
left where it was gently setting. No thought entered her mind, but no feeling
escaped her. Time has ceased to exist for her, just as her problems and her
past have ceased to exist. Her present is all that she can see. Her feet
partially in the mud, the softness of the suns last rays on her cheeks, the
light evening breeze guiding her to where she would next be. She will be here,
and only here, for this present moment.
