NFL Controversy

My take on what the NFL really thinks about the officiating “problem”. Funny, but yet could easily be eerily true.

Dear NFL fan,

We have heard your complaints and understand the concerns you have about the current state of NFL officiating. Throughout the contract negotiating period with the NFL Referees Association, we will continue to strive to ensure that games are called fairly and constantly with NFL rules and guidelines. We agree with you the fan that we must maintain the integrity of game play in the NFL, while ensuring player safety.

We acknowledge that there have been some mistakes by our substitute officials during the first few weeks of the season. But mark my words, things are improving. On the matter of official intimidation, we have sent a stern memo to all organizations warning them about avoiding coercion and intimidation of the field referees. We have also put our new officiating crews through more thorough background checks, and have made the weekly film training sessions more intense. We do hope that this alleviates the concerns of you, the NFL fan. The NFL cares about nothing more than the integrity of the product we put on the field. 

On second thought, we could care less about what you think. You pay tens of thousands of dollars for personal seat licenses to have the right to buy tickets to our games. You buy Sunday Ticket subscriptions, and spend hundreds of dollars on jersey’s that cost us $10 to make, not to mention the millions we rake in from team related knickknacks and decor. You throw football parties for friends and family, upping our overall viewership to further increase the dollars we get from sponsors. You will keep watching, keep making us money, and while you will complain, you are not going anywhere. We, the NFL, own you.

To prove this, we will now hire peewee league football and MLS soccer referees as a way to "flip you the bird". You will do nothing but spend your precious time and money making us, the NFL, more wealthy than you could even hope to be. To further cut costs, we are looking at the possibility of letting the players officiate themselves, but unfortunately the training of the players to use the instant replay booths will not be completed in time to be used this season.

Thank you for your support of the NFL. Please continue to pour your hard earned money into our various revenue generating products and we promise you that you will continue to have an excuse to watch TV on Thursday evenings, Sunday's, and Monday nights, from September through January. 

Sincerely,

Roger Goodell

Commissioner, National Football League.

P.S. Thanks for the new yacht!